Sunday, January 31, 2010
Poet of LOST
Pining over a task needed to complete for people underserving the effort.
Constantly thinking if I deserve you.
You make me unworried.
Praying to God, I am not sure exist.
For brighter day and quiet night.
You make me a believer.
Your smile that lights up the room.
When you are not smiling.
Makes me lost and inside.
From the joy you bring.
The love you gave.
The hope of eternal happiness.
My private joy.
With rose without thorns.
Passion.
Heart.
Love.
My world and so,so ,so much more.
My hope and reason for being great.
To watch an angel sleep.
Deep through the till it slip.
Maybe it is the reason I became so "TRIP".
Feelings Of Hate updated at
3:58 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Dear DAD,
I've found this ID picture of you on my personal workstation behind my LCD monitor.
Dad, its' already 2010 but the memories of you are still fresh in me.
I remembered when I was young and mischievous, you were so strict towards me.
You disciplined me physically but I always stayed calmed and try not to cry.
You were a wonderful Dad which no one can replace. You tried your very best to get
what this family wanted. When I was 13, you bought us a great PC which last for only 3
years. Since then I'm interested in Computers and gadgets. You even gave me a "Page
Phone" from Motorola. Those were the days when I got my own pager and a bulky
"Page Phone". Those days were wonderful Dad.
We loved fishing together. You even bought a cruiser for our family outing and off-shore
fishing. I still remembered we loved cruising to Seletar Island. Its been years that my last
foot-steps on the sand were brushed away by the sea. You even climbed up the coconut tree
for us to taste the nature of coconuts drinks.
Then when I was 15, you suspect me with a tattoo and forced me to open up shirt. You
scolded me and asked me to remove them. But instead, I add on more and bigger tattoos
on the same day. The next morning, you forced me again to be half naked. I got a great
lecture from you but you did not beat me up like you used to. On that day onwards, I
stopped tattooing. I knew how you felt. You deal with inmates almost everyday and do not
want me to be like them when I grow up.
But Dad, I failed you. I've broke the laws, get into fights and gangsterism.
Dad, I'm changing my ways now. I got a decent carrier with Hewlett Packard. I'm trying my
best to stop abusing drugs.
Dad, we miss you terribly. I can't seem to get the pictures of you out of my head which I've
lost them in my old PC. The last picture I took was you and mum with my Siemens mobile
phone.
Dad, I never got to tell you how much I love you, how great you were and even to seek
forgiveness from you.
Dad, I pray that you will always be bless by the Almighty (ALLAH s.a.w) and you rest in
peace.....
Amin.
Regards,
Your dearest middle son.
Feelings Of Hate updated at
5:25 PM
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Di Himpit Perasaan
Tiada yang lebih tabah
Dari hujan musim kemarau
Dirahsiakan rintik rindunya hati
Kepada pohon yang membunga
Tiada yang lebih bijak
Dari hujan musim kemarau
Dihapuskan bayang-bayangnya
Yang meragu di jalan bayu
Tiada yang lebih arif
Dari hujan musim kemarau
Dibiarkan tidak di ucap
Yang meyerap akar pohon bunga itu
Feelings Of Hate updated at
7:44 PM
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Depression is a terrible affliction in the society. Approximately 16% of the population have suffered from depression at least once in their lives and it is expected that by the year 2020, it will be the second leading cause of disability behind heart disease. Although medications are often prescribed to treat depression, you may want to explore other options before taking this route. However, if you are currently suffering acutely, you should not feel as though you need to wait to seek a psychiatrist for a consultation.
Do you lack motivation? Do you have trouble enjoying things that you used to? Do you cry a lot? Does it seem that nothing is really worth doing? Do you feel that your life is meaningless? Do you feel confused and directionless in life? If so, it is possible that you are sinking into the psychological quicksand of clinical depression. Depression doesn't have to have a "reason", either. You may be depressed because of something that happened to you (an assault, death of a loved one, etc), but depression can also strike random people out of the blue. It doesn't have to run in your family. It doesn't matter if you're a bouncing-off-the-walls happy kind of person or if you've always come across as "Dark". Nobody is completely immune to depression, and clinical depression is a medical imbalance, which means that there doesn't always have to be a concrete reason for why it's there in the first place. You may cry for no reason. You may feel alone in the world though you belong to a loving family. Depression can strike anyone, so don't consider yourself immune to it.
TIPS
Keep Breathing. Remind yourself—if you're breathing, you're winning. There is a path out of your depression, but step one is always: Keep Breathing.
If you are part of a religious group, talk to your fellow members or leader for guidance.
Spend one hour out in the sunlight every day.
Avoid depressing movies, songs, and art.
If you have thoughts of suicide or self-injury, get professional help immediately. If nothing's working, avoiding help can only be detrimental.
Keep your surrounding warm and well-lit during the day. Prefer a well-lit room or open window curtains/blinds during the day.
Stay busy with work that keeps your brain occupied. A recent study has proven that when you are wholly focused on the task at hand, you are physically unable to worry or think about your troubles. And staying productive is the best way to prove to yourself that you're not worthless and things can really change.
In some women, depression may be caused (or worsened) by low hormone levels, most commonly progesterone. Progesterone helps keep serontonin levels from dropping too low, and low serotonin can cause depression. Doctors can test for low progesterone and prescribe it (though many doctors are unaware of the link with depression); it is even available without prescription, which gives you an idea how safe it is when used according to directions. Indications that a depression may be progesterone related are: symptoms get worse in the two weeks before menstruation, during perimenopause/menopause, or after giving birth. Anxiety-depression is most commonly seen, sometimes accompanied by severe mood swings and insomnia; some women may get more headaches/migraines. NOTE: synthetic progestins such as Provera, medroxyprogesterone, DepoProvera, and birth control pills can make these symptoms worse instead of better; when I refer to progesterone I mean that exact natural hormone specifically, not its "substitutes". Progesterone is available as Progest cream (a good brand) without prescription, and as Prometrium capsules with prescription; compounding pharmacies also make various dose forms (such as Progesterone 50 mg/ml Lotion, compounded).
With all of the advice given here: REMEMBER that it does not have to be done in drastic measures. One glass of water. One apple. 15min in the sun. A half hour or more earlier to bed than before or half hour or more earlier getting out of bed. A short walk to the....? end of the block, walking a little further into the store by parking farther away... just any of these common sense activities and lifestyle additions/changes that EVERYONE needs to do in order to be more healthy & active will help the average person but more dramatically, will help the depressed person.
If you have problems to grant yourself things or if you even think, you might not be worth to live on, try to think of yourself when you were a child. Don´t you think, this child would have deserved all the benevolence in the world for its future?
Try and go outside. Take a walk and think about why you've became different than the person you originally were. Go over the good things in your life that you have.(ex. You have the ability to walk, breathe, able to see the world and that you have the power to change it).
Listen to positive music. Listen to music that you can relate to but has a more positive moral to the particular song. In its own way it gives you support and comfort you may lack else were.
Smile. It WILL make you happier.
Instead of trying to make yourself FEEL better, focus your energy on concrete ways IMPROVING your situation.
Feelings Of Hate updated at
11:12 AM
Friday, January 1, 2010
Feelings Of Hate updated at
1:16 AM
